Tremendous Wii Fit parody.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Q: We've received evidence that there was a team party at Canseco's house, but that Mr. Clemens was golfing that day and wasn't at the party. It sounds like you have a pretty clear recollection of seeing Mr. Clemens at this party along with some family members, is that right? Are you certain about that?
A: Roger showed up after golf, I believe. Maybe he was golfing. I don't know if he was golfing. He might have showed up a little bit later, but no, he was there the whole time for the most part. He was in the house. I could tell a specific story about him being there, which was involving Jose (Canseco), Jose's wife and Roger's wife when they went inside, when the guys showed up. I mean, they talked -- no disrespect, but they talked about how great Jose's wife's augmentation job was to Debbie and showed her. And then Debbie showed her her augmentation job.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
This cheers me up... the best commercial from the Super Bowl - the Tide talking stain.
Gotta give credit to the G-men. They walked through the top three teams in the NFC on the road, and then somehow pulled out somewhere between 6 and 600 favorable sigmas on their final drive to beat the Patriots, including a riCOCKulous first down hurl to David Tyree, who made a circus catch (pinning the ball against his HELMET!) as Rodney Harrison desperately tried to break up the play, and Asante Samuel stood still watching along with Ellis Hobbs.
Fuck. What really bugs me is those Schadenfreude-a-licious cockchuggers on the '72 Dolphins. Mercury Morris took a break from slamming 8-balls of coke long enough to make a new commercial relishing the Pats' defeat. Was it me, or was Don Shula missing from that commercial? He must have been getting his diaper changed. If only Eli hadn't put together the miracle drive to beat all miracle drives, we'd never have to hear from these doucheballs again - but the Patriots' perfect regular season is without a doubt marginalized by their failure to win the Super Bowl - no one can argue that.
Peter King summed up the game pretty well when he quoted Michael Strahan, who, relishing in his team's victory and attempting to explain it, was quoting the inimmitable Mike Tyson: "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face."
You can't blame this game on the officials, but I am a little surprised that not one of the myriad articles I read today mentioned the highly questionable call when Patriots linebacker Pierre Woods (who?!?!?!) recovered an Eli Manning fumble in the first half on the Giants' side of the field, only to have the Giants' linemen flip him over and rip the ball from his hands.
If there was a line in Vegas earlier in the season for "Which Manning will hand New England their first defeat of the season?" I think it would have looked something like:
Peyton - 1200
Eli + 950
And Coughlin putting together the perfect game plan - outcoaching Belichick?!? Coughlin didn't even use his challenge flag!!! Are you fucking KIDDING me? I would have bet that there would be a safety in the game before I bet that Coughlin would make it through the game without making an asinine challenge. These are definitely signs of the apocalypse. I'm going to start building my bunker.
I think I'll watch the Tide talking stain ad again...