"What the Fed, Treasury and SEC seems to fail to understand is that you CANNOT get a return to normalcy after a bubble -- not until prices are allowed to fall to levels that bring in aggressive buyers. That is true for stocks, houses, and even financial institutions."
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
My car arrived with no trouble, and we breezed to JFK where I ran into a little Monday morning security line traffic. After negotiating the pack of doucheballs, I stopped to take a leak, and was fascinated by the waterless pisser in the bathroom. Not even a piss mint in there - amazing.
The flight was uneventful, apart from a typical array of fat ignorant idiots, and I breezed through McCarran to a 3 minute cab line, and straight to the Mirage. I checked my bag and, not psyched to play 3-6 limit hold'em, walked across the street to the Venetian, where I checked in on the 2-5NL list, and grabbed a quick bite to eat up in the food court at Panda Express. I returned to the poker room just in time to grab my seat, and sat down eager to reverse my recent ill fortunes at the poker table and dominate some doucheballs.
In my first orbit, I over-limped a UTG limper holding pocket 5's. 4 more people limped, and a nitty old regular in the small blind made a strange raise to $25. The initial limper now popped it to $125, and I folded quickly, as did everyone else back to the small blind, who thought for 2 minutes before mucking what he claimed (and I'm sure he was telling the truth) was QQ. I nodded at him: "You mucked queens?" "Yeah," he lamented. I nodded understandingly, "I mucked kings," I said, and it never occurred to him that I was full of shit - he thought that actually made SENSE! My old friend The Dealer was to the nit's left, and eyed me suspiciously, at which point I made an "are you fucking kidding me - of course I didn't muck kings" face, and he smiled and chuckled.
I was rapidly put on bajungi tilt by a complete ass-clown two seats to my left: an early position player opened for $30, and I called, directly to his left with 66. Now, Assclown says "raise 20" and is informed by the dealer that the minimum raise is to $55, which he is now obligated to make. It's folded back to the initial raiser, who now 4-bets it to $155, and I have to fold. Assclown calls, puts his last $60 in on the A-6-3 all heart flop, and turns another ace that he didn't need to crack the initial raiser's KK with his ACE JACK! Kid Dynamite falls victim to the three bet squeeze play min raise from a total assclown who held AJ - oy vey. I steamed right out of the room, and back accross the street, exchanging text messages with Chops along the way, who was trying his best to antagonize me.
Fortunately, Big Show had just landed, and he promptly met me at the Mirage, where we checked into our comped room, dropped out bags, and returned to the infamous Pai Gow pit where we'd been liquidated the year before. We were playing $10 Pai Gow, and upon seeing our player's cards, the pit boss politely informed us that we'd have to bet $25 per hand to be rated. I calmly replied that we understood, and that we would get there, and then chided Big Show: "He already has you rated: as a total douchebag."
I was excited to tell Big Show about the waterless urinal at JFK Airport, and he quickly inquired "What if you take a dooker in it?" "It's a urinal," I reiterated, but he just stared at me. "Yeah, so... same question." Sick fucker. Amazingly, the Mirage urinals have VERTICAL no-splash astro-turfs in them, as opposed to the Wynn's piss pots, which still have the horizontal no-splashers in them. I wonder if each casino has an Executive Vice President In Charge of Quelling Urinal Splashback. Heck - I'd go back to work for that job.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury,
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
The highlight of the show came when ESPN did a little side feature on Donald Hobbs, a young man who was in a brutal car accident. It seems Hobbs is a big Chris Moneymaker fan, and while he was laid up in the hospital, Moneymaker found out about Hobbs and took the time to go play poker with the kid. In addition, Moneymaker bought Hobbs into the main event. Kudos, Chris, that's a classy and generous thing to do, and a good use of your poker celebrity. However, the gem was during Hobbs' poignant interview with the ESPN cameras off set, where he was describing his injuries. He had such a thick Kentucky accent, that the ESPN editors apparently didn't notice that he said "TITTY NIPPLE" when he was describing his injuries. He says, and I quote, "I got burned from my right titty nipple down to my kneecap." Well done Mr. Hobbs. I don't mean to make light of Hobbs' injuries, only that I'm fairly certain the reason ESPN didn't edit it is because they couldn't understand what he said. You can see it at 7:28 of this video:
I'm not going to give a play by play of the rest of the broadcasts, but suffice to say, everything I wrote in my first paragraph actually happened - watch the videos for yourself.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Bengals putting Ocho Cinco on No. 85 jerseyCINCINNATI -- Chad Johnson is no more. It's officially Chad Ocho Cinco in the NFL.
The Cincinnati Bengals announced Thursday that they have begun "the process of listing the former Chad Johnson as Chad Ocho Cinco for all club business, per the legal change of his surname effected in Florida.
"The list of appropriate changes will include Ocho Cinco wearing his new surname on the back of his jersey for Sunday's season opener at Baltimore."
Ocho Cinco officially changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco in Broward County, Fla., last week. The league had not changed his name on their Web site or the team's Web site.
"It's something I don't think anyone has ever done before," he told the Bengals' Web site last week. "Have I ever had a reason for why I do what I do? I'm having fun."
Two years ago, Johnson gave himself the moniker -- a reference in Spanish to his No. 85 -- and put it on the back of his uniform before a game. Quarterback Carson Palmer ripped it off before the kickoff. After the season, coach Marvin Lewis -- who dislikes Johnson's attention-getting stunts -- referred to the receiver as "Ocho Psycho."
Johnson has been a concern for the Bengals this season. He unsuccessfully lobbied for a trade in the offseason, threatening to sit out if he didn't get his way. When the Bengals refused, he relented and showed up for minicamp, but complained that his right ankle was bothering him. He had bone spurs removed from the ankle and was limited at the start of training camp. In the second preseason game, he landed awkwardly and temporarily dislocated his left shoulder. Johnson is wearing a harness and expects to play in the season
opener against Baltimore on Sunday.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
http://view.break.com/563916 - Watch more free videos
Tuesday, September 02, 2008