I WISH I could make this up...

Dancing With The Stars... Huh? This is a new show on ABC. Actually, as Mrs. Dynamite informs me, it's not a "new" show - this is the second season! Holy cow - the American Idol spin-off wagon has GOT to stop. I think I can best sum up the unintentional comedy of this show by looking at the host's claim that we will see "Ten of the biggest stars in America," dancing on this show. Here they are:

Lisa Rinna
George Hamilton
Giselle Fernandez
Master P
Tia Carrere
Kenny Mayne
Tatum O'Neal
Jerry Rice
Stacy Keibler
Drew Lachey

Holy fuck! TEN OF THE BIGGEST STARS IN AMERICA? An ESPN broadcaster, an aging daytime soap star, a retired football hall-of-famer, a WWE Diva, the little brother of a pop idol who's claim to fame was banging Jessica Simpson, a rapper, and I don't even know the others...

ABC's definition of "star" is clearly not in sync with mine. I mean seriously: they couldn't even get NICK Lachey? We have to settle for Drew? Huh?

Of course, anything ABC can do, FOX can do worse, and they retaliate with "Skating with Celebrities." The cast of "celebrities:"

Dave Coulier
Bruce Jenner
Deborah Gibson
Todd Bridges
Jillian Barberie
Kristy Swanson

And I thought ABC was being liberal with definitions of stardom. Holy cow. Dave Fuckin' Coulier. If I'm caught watching this - please - call for help.

1 week until Vegas,
KD