Who Does This?

Why I Don't Use the Hair Dryer In the Gym - A Short Story by Kid Dynamite

Saturday afternoon I hit the gym to pound out some miles on the treadmill. I live about a half mile from the gym, so after I run, I pop into the locker room to remove my sweaty t-shirt, put my sweatshirt back on, and head home dry.

So I finish my 4 miles and walk into the locker room. There's a triple sink and counter there where I can put down my Ipod and throw on my sweatshirt, while busting out a most muscular pose in the mirror. Today, however, there's a very naked dude monopolizing the first sink. Now, I've never understood the phenomenon of people waggling their nekkid goods all over the locker room - especially at the sink. I mean, what do you do at the sink - brush your teeth, comb your hair, shave - basically, things that are very easily done with a towel wrapped around your waist. But no - this donkey was deliberately toweling off his head, shaking his junk all around, in my general direction.

I turned at a slight angle away from him, being careful to avoid the reflection trap of the side-mirror that I was now almost facing, and being even more careful not to stare into the sun (aka, his junk). Apparently not content that I refused to check out his package, this guy then proceeded to bang out a hip flexor stretch with his foot up on the sink. Naked. Way out of line.

As I grabbed my t-shirt and turned to exit, he executed the coup de grace - he grabbed the hair dryer and after giving his head a compulsory 5 second once over, he proceeded to blow dry his junk.

And THAT is why I don't use the hair dryer at the gym.

-KD