Redirecting

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Who Does This?

Why I Don't Use the Hair Dryer In the Gym - A Short Story by Kid Dynamite
Saturday afternoon I hit the gym to pound out some miles on the treadmill. I live about a half mile from the gym, so after I run, I pop into the locker room to remove my sweaty t-shirt, put my sweatshirt back on, and head home dry.
So I finish my 4 miles and walk into the locker room. There's a triple sink and counter there where I can put down my Ipod and throw on my sweatshirt, while busting out a most muscular pose in the mirror. Today, however, there's a very naked dude monopolizing the first sink. Now, I've never understood the phenomenon of people waggling their nekkid goods all over the locker room - especially at the sink. I mean, what do you do at the sink - brush your teeth, comb your hair, shave - basically, things that are very easily done with a towel wrapped around your waist. But no - this donkey was deliberately toweling off his head, shaking his junk all around, in my general direction.
I turned at a slight angle away from him, being careful to avoid the reflection trap of the side-mirror that I was now almost facing, and being even more careful not to stare into the sun (aka, his junk). Apparently not content that I refused to check out his package, this guy then proceeded to bang out a hip flexor stretch with his foot up on the sink. Naked. Way out of line.
As I grabbed my t-shirt and turned to exit, he executed the coup de grace - he grabbed the hair dryer and after giving his head a compulsory 5 second once over, he proceeded to blow dry his junk.
And THAT is why I don't use the hair dryer at the gym.
-KD

6 comments:

BigShow said...

Come on... The hip flexor stretch. I believed you until then.

Bostonboy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Bracelet said...

Sounds a lot like naked-in-the-sauna guy. He wears the towel all the way into the sauna before taking it off, feeling the need to let his junk gain direct heat exposure for some unknown fucking reason.

Or sitting-on-the-bench-naked guy who you never see in the actual gym. He apparently lives to wipe his ass and flop his junk over every once of public space in the locker room.

Fucking hip-flexor stretch...

Kid Dynamite said...

yes Big Show - he TOTALLY did the hip flexor stretch.

of course, AFTER i wrote this post i googled "blow drying pubes" and found some funny resulty...

FrugalFranco said...

That is hilarious. Similar to this clip - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3Luo12LKyQ

Kaetlyn Wilcox said...

Damn yo. Naked hip flexor stretching, pube drying dude makes the group ELDERY naked hot tubbing ladies at my old gym look like a bunch of amateurs.