Sunday, November 01, 2009

Who Are These People

According to a NY Times article on digital video recorders (aka:  TIVO-esque modern day digital VCR's), nearly half of all DVR users watch the commercials on the programs they record!

The Dynamite family has moved into our new New Hampshire home.  We've met the neighbors, and donned orange hunting blazes to avoid getting shot while walking in the woods with Oscar.  Strangely, although we live in an area nearly bereft of houses, we have seen no wildlife aside from an occasional squirrel, chipmunk, blue jay or bat.  Not a fox/deer/moose/bear/bobcat/yeti to be heard from.  I guess these animals are smarter than I thought - they know it's hunting season, and they must be in deep cover.  We do hear frequent shotgun blasts, though, so someone is finding something.

I'm off to the Nation's Capital tomorrow for a big opportunity which I will discuss when I return.



Accrued Interest said...

Can you e-mail me? accruedint AT I've got a request re: yesterday.

Dan Duncan said...

Sure, watching the commercials on a DVR seems a bit inane...

Until you consider that the user was so distraught at the prospect of picking up his aunt at the airport---on a fucking Wednesday of all nights!!!---that he got into his 3rd fight with his mother this week...which wouldn't be so bad if he was 14...but he's not 14...he's 32, unemployed and he lives in her basement....

"Ma, why is Aunt Loretta coming back on a Wednesday?!?! You know Wednesday is MY night and that it's probably like the 4th best night of the week. If you think I'm missing the Wife Swap/Cougar Town/Dancing with the Stars Trifecta you're out of your mind! I'm not doing it. Let the old bitch hail a cab."

And then the technological miracle of the DVR descends upon him like the healing hands of Benny Hinn..."Young Man: Heal Thyself! You can just record all of your 'Faves' with just the touch of a button!"

Sure, he remains pissed that he's gonna miss the Wednesday lineup-- in real-time. But he'll be able to catch all the action later 1:00 am on Thursday morning...when there's nothing but a bunch of "lame infomercials anyways".

And besides, it'll get the old lady off his back and he'll still have a place to live.

So he hits that extra Mountain Dew --his 7th on the day. [He tries to maintain discipline and keep his Dew consumption at no more than a 6-pack, but needless to say, this day warrants an exception!]

He fires up the TV/DVR combo and feels the hum of anticipation.

The Dew-Buzz is spraying dopamine now...and he revels in the Mist....He is now enchanted under the spell of the opening credits for Wife Swap.

Life is, indeed, good.

The commercials come, he's about to fast-forward over them until he sees that new Pepsi Commercial... the one with Fergie. He decides that the only way to get the the "Full Wednesday Experience" is through authenticity. He thinks it over and concludes, "It just doesn't seem right to NOT have commercials when it's NOT HBO."
So he puts the remote down...and settles into oblivion.

Anonymous said...

I'm interested in your spam. Can you e-mail me? accruedint AT