It's That Time Again - Which Of These Stories Is From The Onion?

An old favorite feature here on Kid Dynamite's World is "Which of these stories is from The Onion?" 

Here are today's choices:

1) "LA Unveils $578MM School, Costliest In the Nation"

"LOS ANGELES – Next month's opening of the Robert F. Kennedy Community Schools will be auspicious for a reason other than its both storied and infamous history as the former Ambassador Hotel, where the Democratic presidential contender was assassinated in 1968.

With an eye-popping price tag of $578 million, it will mark the inauguration of the nation's most expensive public school ever.

The K-12 complex to house 4,200 students has raised eyebrows across the country as the creme de la creme of "Taj Mahal" schools, $100 million-plus campuses boasting both architectural panache and deluxe amenities.

"There's no more of the old, windowless cinderblock schools of the '70s where kids felt, 'Oh, back to jail,'" said Joe Agron, editor-in-chief of American School & University, a school construction journal. "Districts want a showpiece for the community, a really impressive environment for learning."

Come on.  This is easy - THAT one must be from The Onion, right?  How could a district with a $640MM budget shortfall be opening a school costing in excess of half a billion dollars?

2) "Unemployment High Because People Keep Blowing Their Job Interviews"

"WASHINGTON—With unemployment at its highest level in decades, the U.S. Department of Labor issued a report Tuesday suggesting the crisis is primarily the result of millions of Americans just completely blowing their job interviews.

According to the findings, seven out of 10 Americans could have landed their dream job last month if they had known where they see themselves in five years, and the number of unemployed could be reduced from 14.6 million to 5 million if everyone simply greeted potential employers with firmer handshakes, maintained eye contact, and stopped fiddling with their hair and face so much."

Seem reasonable!  People out of work for a long time lose their sharpness and interview-ability.

3)  "Philadelphia Wants to Tax Bloggers $300 for a Business License"

For the past three years, Marilyn Bess has operated MS Philly Organic, a small, low-traffic blog that features occasional posts about green living, out of her Manayunk home. Between her blog and infrequent contributions to ehow.com, over the last few years she says she's made about $50. To Bess, her website is a hobby. To the city of Philadelphia, it's a potential moneymaker, and the city wants its cut.

In May, the city sent Bess a letter demanding that she pay $300, the price of a business privilege license.

"The real kick in the pants is that I don't even have a full-time job, so for the city to tell me to pony up $300 for a business privilege license, pay wage tax, business privilege tax, net profits tax on a handful of money is outrageous," Bess says.

It would be one thing if Bess' website were, well, an actual business, or if the amount of money the city wanted didn't outpace her earnings six-fold. Sure, the city has its rules; and yes, cash-strapped cities can't very well ignore potential sources of income. But at the same time, there must be some room for discretion and common sense."

Really Philly?  No way - I don't believe it.  They are really going to ask for $300 from everyone who has a blog with an ad on it, any "activity for profit?"  Yikes. Good luck with that one, Philadelphia.

answers below, in the full links

-KD 

1) LA's Taj Mahal School

2) Blowing Job Interviews

3) Philadelphia Business Privilege License