Dear Penthouse? Or The New York Times? Keisel's Beard

It's time once again for everyone's favorite game - I give you an excerpt, and you have to decide if it's from a Dear Penthouse letter, or from the New York Times.

Today's snippet:

"Or, more specifically, the two-toned tangle of tonsorial madness hanging off of Keisel’s face.

“It is raw and it is real and it is healthy,” Passion said. “It is like the coat of a wolf.”"

Yowza,  I have no idea what "tonsorial madness" is, but it sure sounds like some sort of sexual frenzy.  And anything that is described as "raw," "real," "healthy," and "like the coat of a wolf," quoted by someone named "Passion"  reeks of Penthouse Letters, right?

Au contraire, my friends - this one is from the NY Times, about Pittsburgh Steeler Defensive End Brett Keisel's beard.  But wait - it gets even better - almost as if the NY Times authors are TRYING to get featured in "Dear Penthouse? Or the New York Times?"

"It has curl and body and heft. Keisel’s lips and teeth are buried deep inside the fur. (“The worst part is hairballs,” Keisel said.)"

"Buried deep inside the fur?"  Are you serious?!?!  I'm just going to leave that quote alone and let it stand on its own literary eloquence.

 

-KD