Sunday, January 07, 2007

Seattle Sigma-Hawks

If you told me that Seattle would look like crap at home against the hapless Cowboys, and would blow their chance to tie the game by falling victim to a four down goal line stand by Dallas, only to promptly come up with a safety off of a Terry Glenn fumble, and then a quick touchdown where they'd miss the two point conversion and then allow Dallas to drive the length of the field to the point where the officials reviewed the spot of a 3rd down play which would have given Dallas a first down on the one yard line, but instead with the new spot resulted in Dallas going to kick the game wining field goal with under a minute left, but Romo botched the hold yet still scrambled for what looked like a first down, yet everyone was so shocked that Dallas had blown the field goal attempt that not one word was said about the fact that Romo may have scrambled for the first down anyway, especially considering that the prior play had been reviewed for two minutes and then reversed - I would have told you that you were fucking crazy. But it happened. (Run on sentence inspired by the immortal Bobby Bracelet)
Most interesting is what would have happened if Dallas had actually been awarded first and goal at the one from Whitten's third down catch: Seattle had one timeout left, and basically would have had to let Dallas into the endzone to have any chance of getting the ball back with time on the clock. Dallas, however, knows this, and would have likely refused to score a touchdown - at least until they had run time off the clock by kneeling on the ball - holding Seattle hostage to the clock. Parcells confirmed as much in his postgame press conference. It would have been super-sigmalicious if this is the way it went down, and THEN Dallas botched the field goal (after refusing to walk into the endzone for a touchdown in favor of running down the clock.)
The game would have achieved FULL SIX SIGMA STATUS if Sean Alexander had broken for a 99 yard touchdown to cover the spread (somewhere between SEA-3 and SEA-1.5, depending on when you got down) on Seattle's final drive, rather than his 20 yard scamper that merely sealed the victory.
It is so much fun watching football with Mrs. Dynamite. She comes up with intelligent questions that normal fans don't think of. Examples:
1) "Why is the field in such bad shape - they have so much money, why don't they re-sod it every week?" (After seeing highlights from last week's Pats-Titans game from Tennessee on Inside the NFL)
2) "What is a standard day in the life of an NFL player like?" Scott and I told her, "They work out, they watch films," but she pressed us for exact hours spent doing each agenda item, from wake-up to bedtime.
3) "When they have a road game, what day do they arrive in the other city?" In fact, I have no idea. I guessed Thursday.
Unfortunately, Mrs. D only lasted for the first half of the Seattle-Dallas game.
Watching four football games over two days will really result in commercial repeat tilt. I cannot stand the rock-em-sock-em robots Dodge Ram commercial, or any of the commercials for NBC's sign-of-the-apocalypse show "Armed and Famous" (that's a whole post in its own right). However, I love the "fake postgame press conference" commercials for Coors Light, featuring Jim Mora (PLAYOFFS?!?!?!) and Mike Ditka ("He hits the hole hard"). They never get old.
Oh - I almost forgot. I was browsing the cable listings after the Giants-Eagles game ended, and I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I came across "Eat My Black Meat 3" on one of the pay per view channels. Nothing like telling it like it is. No need for fancy titles.
until next time,


Bobby Bracelet said...

Run-on sentence. Nice!

Pretty soon you'll be making fun of Jesus...

Blonde said...

Eat My Black Meet 3. Huh. Do you think you could still follow the storyline if you never caught EMBM 1 & 2?

I find your wife's questions interesting...I am too busy looking at how hot some of the players asses are.

I need to go to TX and comfort Romo with my breasticles and poon.