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Sunday, July 15, 2007

Advance Move

Forecast: Heavy drinking
That was my prognostication, which of course turned out to be correct, before last night's String Cheese Incident show at the Beacon - a Saturday night fiesta to close a four night tour from one of the most talented jam bands around. The show was intense, but I was surprised to learn an advanced concert move, never before seen by me, from one of the myriad happy go lucky jammy hippies at the show:
At the set break, the crowd poured out into the packed concourse of the Beacon Theatre, as sweaty under-the-influence hippies tried to make their way to the bathroom or the bar. I was standing at the corner of the bar, neat the door to the theatre floor, when Johnny Superfan, a chunky kid of about 25 years old with a curly afro, sunglasses, and a cape, emerged from the seating area. He surveyed the scene, then quickly made an exaggerated swallowing motion, gagged, and put his hands over his mouth, clearly about to puke.
The sardine-packed crowd parted like the red sea, in an effort to avoid the impending chow shower, as Johnny Superfan expertly took three quick staggering steps, then, like Kaiser Soze at the end of Usual Suspects, fell into a normal gait, and removed his hand from in front of his mouth.
"Holy crap! That was a SERIOUSLY advanced move!" I was in awe, exclaiming to Scott. "the FAKE puke to get through the throng of people!" Incredible - not even Dirty Dave had that one in his playbook.
In non-fake-puke-angle-shooter news, we have been going to the hospital with Oscar once a week for therapy dog visits. Last week we met a crazy non-stop talking old man, who made us laugh as he blabbered and pointed to his roommate, "Me, I'm 79 - that guy over there - he's 83. HE'S got problems." He went on a rambling monologue that was a cross between George Carlin and Rodney Dangerfield - but was happy to see the O-dog.
Hopefully, you've been tuning in to Pauly's TaoOfPoker and WickedChops for all the WSOP news - Phil Hellmuth is clearly a favorite to win Douchebag of the Year again.
-KD

1 comment:

HighOnPoker said...

Hey KD. The Fake Puker was a move my friends and I perfected in college at crowded frat parties. We'd choose the designated fake puker and then the other people would say, "Clear the way! I've got to get him to the bathroom (or outside or whatever was nearest our destination of choice)". Classic manuever, but you must be careful not to overuse it.