Candid Camera?

So you still want poker content? Ok - suck on this one: this is probably the sickest situational beat I've ever taken. I say that because it's not so much the bad beat (ok, I'm spoiling the story) - as the situation it occurred under. I suggest you make sure you are sitting down and have nothing in your mouth - but you still may throw up on yourself. If you're into schadenfreude, then, this Bud's for you:

I've been running pretty bad lately- flopping sets against made straights, turning sets against unlikely flushes, getting big pairs cracked by J-8 on an 8-8-4 flop, etc. Nevertheless, this week I again returned to the green felt to battle with the demons of cold decks and bad beats, and try to get back on the winning track. Yesterday I ground out a small win, and today I had another win lined up: I was up about $950, and went to get a rack - I leave at 5pm every day, and it was 4:55.

"You made your rate today," Richie nodded to me, as he eyed my chips.

"A lot can happen in the next two hands Richie," I responded, but didn't think there was much of a chance of that, as I was just playing out the last two hands until my blind came around.

This is one of the side effects of being an EV Whore. As Dirty Dave would insist, once you've paid your blinds, you might at well look at all the hands until your next big blind - they are FREE! Kinda like the quote from Animal House: "Grab a beer - it don't cost nothin'." I always look at my free hands - there's no reason not to. The worst I can do is muck it if I don't like it!

So I muck the first hand, and then I'm under the gun. I have my chips racked up - they are actually IN the rack, which is on the rail in front of me. I toss the dealer my three odd $1 chips, and think silently to myself "just don't cold deck me on this last hand." I guess I should have said it out loud.

I look down at my first card: Ace of Diamonds. I smile. I'm praying I don't have to get involved in a maniacal deep stacked poker game out of position with AK or AQ on my last hand... And no such luck... my second card comes and I peel it: ace of clubs.

I calmly pull $10 out of the rack to call. We're playing $5-$10NL. Two more callers, and then a maniac in the cutoff makes it $100 to go. This is the same guy who stacked me in a $5k pot LAST Thursday when I flopped bottom set against his flopped straight. Anyway, I'm glad for the raise, as it gives me a chance to re-pop it.

I take one stack of greens out of the rack. Then another. I remove all my chips from the rack. People at the table snicker a little bit. Richie mumbles, "I'd love an x-ray view of those cards," and I am not fucking around: I make it $800 to go. The maniac only has about $1200, so I'm sending him the message that I'm not folding, and that he should just give up, I'll book my win and go home.

It's folded back to the maniac, who QUICKLY says "ok let's gamble" and pushes his chips in. I close my eyes, laugh, and call. I'm wondering if this is a joke - like did they set up the deck when I wasn't looking so I'd get cold decked on my last hand? I was LITERALLY one foot out the door - until I'd peeked back at the ace of clubs. He KNOWS I can't fold to his extra $300 with $1600 already in the pot.

So the dealer runs the cards, and it's all kinda a blur to me. Td 7c 8c..... the maniac doesn't do anything.... 7d on the turn.... 5d on the river, and before I can table my hand the maniac says "FLUSH."

I leap out of my seat, "WHAT?"

He turns over 3d 4d.

I look at the dealer, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" I am incredulous. Is this real? This is a joke right? Hah hah KD, we knew you were leaving and we set this up while you went to get a rack... just kidding....

Now look, I've taken beats before. I've taken beats of this exact type for double the amount - it's why the game is good. But here, the utter sickness of the situation shook me. The fact that I had my chips racked up and had even considered just walking away, but I couldn't leave the ONE FREE HAND! And even after getting sucked into a hand, getting it all in preflop, I was a 4-1 favorite! AIYAHHHHHHH!

I text Eric: "Holy fuck - you would not believe what just happened"

He quickly responds: "you are such a tease"

I call him up, and he answers, "I feel like this might be one of those 2 Girls One Cup situations - like I'd be better off if I just didn't know. Maybe you shouldn't tell me this story," but he can't resist - he knows it's a train wreck in the making, and cringes as I recount the hand. Eric was way too logical in the analysis of the hand - he thought that I was sunk my the middling T-8-6 flop, reasoning that my opponent gambled with a medium pair. Nope.

Then I hit up the Big Show, who gamely listens to the gore, and concludes: "It's a good thing you're rich, and hey - I birdied 17 and 18 today!"

Fahhhhhhhhhhk.

-KD