There you go - I laid it all out there right in the subject line. If you're expecting thoughtful economic commentary, you will be disappointed with this post. However, I have to admit that the GB in this post is more fun to write about than other GBs: Goldman's Blankfein, Greece Bailouts, Gold Bubble... They all pail in comparison to Griffey's Bum!
I'm guessing that if I polled my audience, I'd find that I'm not the only man who has purchased maxi-pads. However, I'd wager that I'm the only one who has purchased maxi pads for his dog! That's what I did today, as our diaper wearing foster pup, Mr. Griffey, is running out of maxi pad liners for his "belly band."
Griffey with his new haircut, sans diaper
We've learned a few things in the past few weeks with Mr. Griffey: 1) I'm pretty sure he doesn't speak any German at all, contrary to what we were told. 2) he hasn't tried to mark at all either, but has peed in his diaper a few times - I think it's mostly because he's scared. 3) he doesn't like me. He's terrified of me - you'd think that I'd abused him. It's unreal. Interestingly enough, my wife took Griffey home with her over Mother's Day Weekend, while I took Oscar home with me. When we all reunited back in New Hampshire, Griffey was more receptive to me. He even sat on my lap this morning while we watched SnL. That was a first! 4) Griffey only poops on grass.
Last week we went to the vet to get Griffey checked out - we thought he had the same abscessed anal gland problem that had proven to be an ordeal with Oscar over the winter. Strangely, when we got to the vet, we could no longer see the abscess, and the vet couldn't find anything wrong. Unfortunately, Griffey was diagnosed with lyme disease and an ear infection - so he's taking antibiotics (for the Lyme) and getting ear drops, which Oscar subsequently tries to lick out of his ears.
Yesterday, 5 days later, Griffey got groomed. We told the groomer we wanted a "sanitary cut." In NYC, this was a standard cut - it basically meant to shave the dog's groin and bum.
The groomer hesitated, and confirmed, "sanitary cut... you mean...?"
"Doggie Brazilian," I quickly replied, and she nodded, "Gotcha - I just wanted to make sure."
When we picked Griffey up with his new stylish Brazilian cut, it was clear that he has a major tuchus problem. The groomer confirmed it, and said we needed to take him in to the vet immediately. So, now it's back to another round of cute little dogs with infected dookers. Sweet.
Today, we took Griffey back to the vet, who checked the abscessed anal gland and said it was fine and healing on its own, partly due to the antibiotics that Griffey is already taking for the Lyme Disease. It was a little confusing for us, since we'd gone through a whole ordeal with Oscar having the same problem, which resulted in our seeking out this new vet. Additionally, the old vet had told us that Oscar would repeatedly need the glands drained, while the new vet said that once it abscessed, it wouldn't be a problem anymore, as it kinda stops functioning (which is basically contrary to what we've read and heard). Mr. Griffey is getting neutered next week, so we'll keep an eye on his abscess, and hopefully it won't flare up again and become an issue. We'll also be able to get it re-checked while he's under anesthesia for the neutering.
This is my life...