Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Carpet Muncher

My dog Oscar is a carpet muncher... No - it's probably not what you think, he ACTUALLY eats carpets! It's a new habit - he chomps on the edges until they shred. I caught him in the act yesterday, and made a shocked sound - he looked at me with guilty eyes and took two steps back, then lay down, and rolled over on his back... Can't stay mad at the little guy.

The World Series of Poker is underway. will have full coverage details, and I'm counting on the boys at WickedChops for quality summaries.

I'm a big soccer fan, and I think the World Cup is one of the best sporting events out there, but this year's games have kinda sucked. I remember the 1994 World Cup for it's fast paced, wide open, full throttle play, and 1998 was the same way. The 2006 World Cup seems to be classified by the return of the exaggerated dive that made Americans hate soccer players in the first place. I never learned the "go down like you got shot by a bb gun in the hamstring" maneuver that almost ALL teams now seem to use as a staple - I always tried to stay on my feet when I got hit. Whereas in the old days we could count on a few dramatic Latin teams to take dives every time a player came near them, now it seems almost standard.

Sunday's Portugal - Netherlands game was one of the great all time games, featuring a record number of yellow cards. People are SHREDDING the ref for losing control of the game, but if you watched the game (and I sympathize, as a former official) - the game started to get rough, and he did exactly what he was supposed to do to try to TAKE control: he started handing out yellow cards the way I hand out stacks of chips when I have A-Q (which is to say, liberally.) Unfortunately, the players decided to completely ignore him, and continued to take cheap shots at one another. The ref was actually later quoted as saying something to the tune of how he was actually surprised that the Dutch players played so dirty, while he expected it from Portugal.

The highlight of the game came when Holland violated a classic piece of soccer etiquette: a Portuguese player was hurt on the field, so Portugal played the ball out of bounds. When play resumes, the accepted play is for Holland to take the ball and kick it back to the Portuguese side. However, the Dutch player with the ball, I think it was Van Persie, decided to dribble it up the field instead, as several Portuguese players watched in awe. A Portuguese midfielder took matters into his own hands (a la Kid Dynamite 1996 style) and crushed Van Persie from behind, earning a yellow card. The next time Van Persie got the ball, he was mauled again by another Portuguese defender. I think he got the point.

The quarterfinals will hopefully provide some incredible games, as all 8 teams are top notch. England has sucked thus far, and will be facing a depleted Portugal team that has given them a hard time lately in international play. France finally woke up and played decently against Spain, but will have a tough time with Brazil. Argentina-Germany figures to be a tremendous game, and I like Ukraine over the always over-dramatic Italians.

until next time,


Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Perfect Weapon

In college, I worked a few summers as a host and food runner at Legal Sea Foods in Chestnut Hill, MA. We'd get our share of "celebrities" - "The Human Highlight Reel" Dominique Wilkins, Mike Greenwell (yeah baby - Red Sox superstar for a very short time), former Celtic non-legend Eric Montross, and former Celtic legit-legend Robert "The Chief" Parish. I'll never forget the look on the old yenta's faces when Chief walked out of the dining room late Friday night, his head skimming the light fixtures - let's just say that there aren't a plethora of seven foot tall black men in Chestnut Hill. But the greatest story by far was

The Day Jeff Speakman Came to Town

It was a weekday at lunch - prime time for the restaurant, and we had an hour long wait for a table. I was using my charm, along with the similar skills of Josh, the other host, to pacify the throngs of fish-hungry patrons eager to sit. Suddenly, a woman comes up to our host stand, with full confidence, and explains, "I have Jeff Speakman in the car." Now you have to understand, Josh, myself, and Dave the Bartender are probably the only three people in the entire town who knew who Jeff Speakman was, but this woman, his agent, was acting like he was Tom Fuckin' Cruise or something.

We both reply in unison, "THE PERFECT WEAPON?"

She nods.

"Bring him in!" We declare, with no hesitation.

"Hey Dave," - I shout over to the bar - "Jeff Speakman is coming in!"

"THE PERFECT WEAPON?" Dave is down with it. We are laughing hysterically, realizing the irony of all three of us knowing this "star."

Speakman walks in, with another guy (sadly, NOT Michael Dudikoff, The American Ninja), and his agent, and we seat them in a table near the window. He has a head the size of a pumpkin - and hands like bear paws. Biggest friggin' head I've ever seen. His agent knows we're fans, since, well, we know who he is, and gives us business cards, telling us, "call me, I'll send you an autographed picture." I carried that business card in my wallet for at least 4 years, but I never did call.

Speakman's crew needed directions to the airport, and I got to go over and talk to him, drawing him a map on the back of the Legal Seafood placemat. Ahhh.. the good old days...

I saw Philip Seymour Hoffman on the street outside my apartment today - but even a brush with a Best Actor Oscar winner was nothing compared to the day The Perfect Weapon came to town.


Tuesday, June 20, 2006


"I'll put the fuckin' straddle on you pussy" - Mike "The Mouth" Matusow on High Stakes Poker.

"There are no asterisks in this life, only scoreboards, and ours is currently reading: FUCKED." Ari the Agent on Entourage.

Play of the Week: Antonio "The Magician" Esfandiari, after getting all-in preflop with AA vs Sammy fairways A-9, watches the board come K-J-x-Q-T for a split pot. Instead of getting mad that this is at least the third time he hasn't won with aces in this game (at least he didn't get stacked this time), Antonio goes over to the two hired blondes at the bar to show them his chip tricks. He does the brilliant "rising chip" move, and the best part is the reaction of the girls: the one he's chasing hardest has the "oooohh, you are such a stud," face, while the other has the "Rocks'n'Rings are such a bunch of fuckin' tools, I can't believe you think girls like that crap," face. Antonio has the "I can't win with aces, but I can get laid at will with my magic skills and international exotic looks" face. After all, he can, and I quote directly from his website: "Mesmerize the gals with his gaze." No bullshit. I did not make that up.

until next time,

Monday, June 19, 2006

Dog Whisperer

So do you want to know how friggin' awesome Oscar is? First of all, on Mother's Day, I took him for a walk early in the morning, and on the way he stopped to pick up a flower, stem and all, that was lying on the ground. He carried it home for Mrs. Dynamite! UN-REAL! He never carries stuff that he finds on the street, but he clearly is a genius. Then, after he chewed up my headphones a month ago, Mrs. Dynamite asked him "Oscar, what are you going to get {Kid Dynamite} for Father's Day?" (Nevermind that we call me "dad" and her "mom" - you KNOW he's our baby!). Oscar runs over to the night table where my headphones are, and picks them up! We'll get him new headphones! S-T-U-D. That's my boy.
He also peed on a guy's leg at my mom's retirement party this weekend. Alpha-dog cannot be denied.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Blogger Championship

Alas, I was unable to defend my 14th place finish in the World Blogger Championship of Online Poker (Freeroll, courtesy of PokerStars). I was cruising along, with about $4200 in chips, 40% above average, when I was moved to a new table, where 6 of the nine players were sitting out! problem was, one of the two other players had $22k in chips, and would NOT get out of my way! I actually managed to get stacked on a table with 6 hands worth of dead blinds! Un-fuckin-real. What should have been the perfect opportunity to steal free blinds became a nightmare when the big stack got in my way... and smooth called me... then check-raised me: 4 times. Fuck.

until next time,

Thursday, June 15, 2006


World Cup Celebration of the Day: Ecuador's Ivan Kaviedes, who pulled a bright yellow SpiderMan lucha-libre mask out of his shorts and donned it after scoring his team's third goal in the 90th minute. I did a little research, and it seems the celebration was a tribute to their late striker, Otilino Tenorio, who died last year in a car crash. Good stuff.

World Cup Play by Play Call of the Day: GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL de Suecia! After Sweden's Freddy Ljundberg scored the game winner in the 89th minute. Pioneered by Andres Cantor, and imitated by millions around the world. It never gets old.

Douche-ball Poker Play of the Week that Worked out Better Than Anyone Possibly Could Have Hoped: Danny Alai in High Stakes Poker. $100 antes, $300-$600 limits, with a $1200 straddle. Fred "dead money" Chammanara limps with A-7 suited. Danny Alai limps in the small blind with K-K! Huh? Limp-re-raises rarely work from the small blind Danny, and to make matters worse, Sammy Farha was the big blind - do you really want to play this pot out of position against Sammy and Fred, when Sammy will call the straddle with any two cards? But lo and behold, Sammy raises $5k more. As if Danny couldn't walk into any more luck, Fred re-raises all in for about $15k! Danny now pops it, Sammy folds, and Danny stacks Fred. I still hate how he played it.

And if anyone is wondering what doucheball means, it's the new douchebag. You heard it hear first.

until next time,

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Are You Ready for Some Futbol?

World Cup Fever is here. Walking home today, I saw people gathered outside a local cafe, 2 deep into the street. Hmmm - I wonder what they're filming in there that's attracting such a crowd - then I realized it was just spectators for the Brazil-Croatia game. Kaka scored the game winner, earning the "Best Name of a Goal Scorer Thus Far" award. This morning, the small island nation of Togo (which I could not find on a map if you offered me $50 million), earned the "Best Celebration After a Goal" award by doing something that looked like a cross between a cowboy jerking a horse's reigns, a begging puppy, and a hopping bunny. Good stuff.

I've had a recurring dream for the past 10 years or so that I have a big final coming up for which I'm completely unprepared. In my college days, this dream caused serious angst, and as the years went by, the panic slowly subsided, replaced by a sort of "hah- it was just a dream" relief. I had the dream again last night, but didn't even remember it until I walked down into the subway this morning. I also have a recurring dream that I'm playing big bet poker and my cards change on the river. In the wild game I played in last week, this actually happened to one of the players - on the river, his opponent announced "straight," and he claimed "flush" as he turned his cards over to scoop a $2,000 pot. The only problem was he didn't have a flush - he'd misread his hand. Oops.

Today Oscar and I went to the "Small Dog Run" at Washington Square Park. In this little area for dogs smaller than 25lbs, Oscar is one of the bigger dogs there, and seems to enjoy himself more. He did something new today: he tried to pee on a girl wearing a sundress. She was paying attention, and dodged it, but 3 minutes later he tried to pee on another woman! Whoa boy - easy! After luring everyone into a false sense of pee-free security 25 minutes later, Oscar returned to his first target, who was staring off into space, and unleashed a stream right on both of her ankles. I watched in horror/amusement from across the run, and my wide eyes darted to hers: she didn't notice! After a few seconds, it hit her, and she looked down, mouth agape, as my hand flew to my mouth to surpress my laughter. I apologized, but wasn't about to offer her my t-shirt to wipe off Oscar's assault. Oscar is clearly staking his claim to everything within this dog run.

On the way home we met a woman with a tiny black Chihuahua. "This is Lil' Negger," she introduced him. Whaaatttttt? I looked at Mrs. Dynamite. Mrs. Dynamite looked at me. L-I-L N-E-G-G-E-R? She mouthed to me, confirming. I shrugged. In New York City you really can't be surprised by anything anymore.

Until next time,

Friday, June 09, 2006

$300 Bad Beat Umbrella

I woke up at 2am and realized I'd left my umbrella at the poker club. Fuck. Insta-TILT sets in, as I lie awake sweating. I just won $260, but I'm fucking furious that I forgot my umbrella, even after asking the guy next to me to remind me to grab it on my way out... Oh well, I'll just stop by on the way home from work to play a little and pick it up. Yes - like a well crafted sitcom, you KNOW where this is going...

No one likes to hear bad beat stories, so I'll save you the gory details, but suffice it to say that it cost me $300 to get my umbrella back, and one Friday Afternoon Tilt Inducing beat in a $700 pot.

And it didn't even rain.


Here's a further analysis/discussion of the most interesting hand I played (LIKE A TOTAL PUSSY) last night: I was UTG + 1. UTG limped, and I raised to $10 with A-K. I had $750 in my stack, and was the shortest stack at the table.

Dave, a maniac, re-raised to $55 - ok great. However, Joe, immediately to Dave's left, min-re-re-raised to $110. Hmmm.. I've played several hours with Joe, and haven't known him to get out of line. I get a seriously bad feeling about his hand here. Mandy in the BB cold calls the $110, and Mark, the limper, calls as well. It's back to me, the initial raiser, in the middle of the action, with Dave still to act behind me.

I hated Joe's re-re-raise, so I considered folding. However, this game is probably way WAY too loose for me to muck A-K there. I thought "Hey KD, you're a stud - don't overplay A-K here - you're drawing slim," but still didn't think folding was right.

My next thought of course, as was the initial plan, was to move all-in. However, I figured to either

a) catch everyone out of line, which was a possibility, scooping nearly $400 in the pot.
b) get called by Joe's AA or KK and be up shit's creek
c) get called by Joe's QQ or worse, but have another problem because Mandy/Mark or Dave were holding some of my "outs," which was highly likely considering that they were all in the hand.

If I call, however, I can get stacked when I flop an ace or a king against a small set or two pair, but I can double up if one of my opponents holds a hand I dominate. Obviously, If one of my opponents has a hand like A-T, it makes it even harder for me to actually flop an ace...

So, what's your play here? Raise, Call, Fold???

The bottom line is that, sitting happily to Dave's right, where I don't mind letting him do the raising, trapping callers in between, and then re-raising to take down pots, THIS was the situation I was looking for. Of course, Joe got in the middle, fucked up my read and my vibe, and fucked up my plan, which caused me to abort my mission and simply CALL. Dave called as well, and we saw a Q-x-x flop, which was checked around (?!?!?)

When a seven came on the turn, Joe doubled up through Dave, with 7-7 vs K-Q. Nice trap Dave.

So, in retrospect, an all-in move would have been best preflop, had I put Joe on 7-7. I HATE his preflop play with that hand there, as it's not really a great hand to attempt to isolate Dave with there, with two very loose callers behind you in the form of Mark and Mandy, and the possibility that I decide to NOT play like a pussy and push MY premium hand as well.

Anyway, I played it cautious and Joe took down a monster pot.

In a game like this, with me in the 2 seat, maniac Dave in the 4 seat, loose wild Zeke in the 7 seat, uber-loose Mandy in the 10 seat, and calling station Mark in the 1 seat, I actually really like my position to the maniac's RIGHT. One school of thought is to sit to the maniac's left and re-raise isolate him, but I prefer to sit to his right, let him do my betting for me, and trap the field for large pots. Of course, if I'm going to use this strategy, it helps to actually EXECUTE it when the situation presents itself.

Until next time,

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Actual Poker Content?

Yeah baby - I actually played poker again tonight! Mrs. Dynamite went home for a few days, and took Oscar with her, so I was left with ample opportunity to take some beats, get felted, and suckout through the back door - just like a normal Thursday night (CHA-CHING!) I've been in a catatonic mood all week, which is never a good state to play poker in, but I was hoping a few suckouts with A-Q would cure my ills.

The live game I play in is sick beyond belief. It's 1-2NL, with a $750 max buy-in, which, in case you can't figure it out, means the stacks get very deep. It's generally regarded as the biggest 1-2 game on the East Coast, but that's just by the players who play in it. I think it probably is though - it plays bigger than MOST $2-$5 games. That also means that it's frequently very hard to put an opponent on a hand - and there are some SERIOUS action players. In other words, if you raise to $15 UTG, and get called 4 times, you do not feel good with your AA looking at a Q-8-6 two flushed board out of position - you had better be prepared to play big pots.

In my first orbit, Zeke raised to $15 in early position, and was called by Mandy and Mark, two loose players, before it got to me on the button with Friday in Vegas - JJ. I made it $75 to go, from a starting stack of $300, and Zeke called me. He checked the A-Q-x flop, and I checked behind him. He bet when another ace came on the turn, and was dismayed when I mucked, as he had QQ.

In the next orbit, I raised to $10 UTG with T-T, and got called 3 times, before Mandy in the SB made it $40. Mark called, and I had $228 in my stack. It was fold or move in, and in this game, it's clearly "MOVE IN." I moved in, and Mandy called me, prompting Mark to say "If you called, I call."

I shrugged, and was not happy with a final board of 2-6-J-Q-K, which was checked down all the way. I flipped my Tens faceup, and Mandy mucked (A-9 suited) and Mark showed his 8-8. JACKPOT!

After about 2 uneventful hours in which I made some interesting plays - calling big raises with big hands (A-K) and small raises with big hands (JJ) out of position, each time surrendering on the flop. The problem in this game is that If I reraise with JJ out of the BB, I'm playing a bigger pot out of position, still multiway, and losing the deception value of my hand. That, and, I'm a pussy after being away from the table for 10 weeks.

I played another interesting pot against Zeke, when in a straddled pot with 3 limpers, I made it $25 from the button with AsJs. Zeke called from the BB, as did Frank and Ben.

The flop came A-Q-8, with the Q-8 of hearts. They checked to me, and I bet $100. Zeke called quickly. I had $300 left, and he had about the same.

The turn was an offsuit 5, and before it hit the table, I was looking at Zeke, asking him, "Really?" regarding his flop call. "I have the nut flush draw," Zeke replied, as he turned the ace of hearts faceup. He checks.

Hmmm... Zeke is a smart, loose aggressive player. I ask him "Two pair WITH the flush draw? No - that's impossible - you said that before the 5 of clubs came out - you can't have A-5 of hearts...." I'm trying to put together the pieces: if I am beat (two pair) and I move in, I'm getting called... But if he's got the ace and the flush draw, he probably calls me too, in which case I'm making a positive EV pot-sized all-in turn bet. If I check behind Zeke, and he misses his flush, he may not pay me off on the river, but I may be able to catch him betting a worse ace than me, if he thinks he can run me off the hand.

He asks me how much I have left, even though the action's on me, and I count out $325. I ask "What will you do if you miss your flush draw?" "All-in" he replies.

Ok - I push my remaining chips in, and he mucks rather quickly. In reality, if I really believed he'd move in on the river with a bare ace and no flush, I should probably check the turn, but I thought my best option was to move in on the turn with my pot-sized bet. Anyway...

Dave, one of the wildest players in the game, later put a SICK move on Paul, one of the loosest, when, on the river, after check-calling $150 and $300 turn and river bets on an ace-high board, Dave went toward his stack, which was down to $680 or so. Paul interrupted him, "David - save your chips, I don't want your money," as he showed an ace. Dave paused momentarily, shook his head, and pushed his stack out anyway. "The ace doesn't scare me." Now, Dave is probably the loosest, most aggressive (and maniacal) player in the game, but he's also smart.

Paul, a pathological loose caller (and he has top fuckin' pair on a no-straight, no-flush board), mucks. On the way home later, I asked Dave if he had a hand there, and he told me no - I completely believe him.

Oh, if you haven't heard, PokerHost apparently got hacked. I'd be careful playing on any but the most legitimate sites...

Story Here.

until next time,

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Beam Me Up

First off, I'd like to thank Iggy @ GuinessandPoker for semi-pimping my blog. When Iggy, one of the original poker bloggers, speaks, people listen, and his site is far and away the leading source of referrals for Kid Dynamite's World.

I'm a frequent reader of ESPN's SportsGuy, Bill Simmons. In a recent column, Simmons mentioned that his "Unintentional Comedy Scale" would need to be completely re-calibrated to account for the surfacing of this classic William Shatner clip. In the simply MEZMERIZING video, from the 1978 Science Fiction Awards, Shatner gives his spoken word "interpretation" of Elton John's Rocket Man. It's flat out impossible to describe - go watch it right now (sound necessary) - I'll wait.

Ok - you watched the video? Now we can discuss it: Here's where SportsGuy was right, and some commenters seem to be missing the point: I think Shatner was completely serious when he was doing this performance. Nowadays, he's kinda a satire of himself, and he's in on the joke, but in this clip, he thinks he's the friggin' nuts. It's absolutely priceless - I can watch in on a loop, staring at the screen in awe, mouth agape. "And I'm gonna be"

Finally, the animated TV show, The Family Guy, shows why it's one of the best shows on tv by parodying the Shatner clip - a reference so obscure that it's almost impossible for the average viewer to get, but if you're in on it, it's pure genius.


Thursday, June 01, 2006

Bits and Pieces

I was heavily tilted by Bob Ciaffone's article in the latest Cardplayer regarding my worst nightmare: Pokertek (PTEK). If you've forgotten, the Pokertek table basically has players sitting at a table, playing internet poker against each other: each player has a display in front of them which only they can see - there is no dealer, no physical cards, and no physical chips - it's the equivalent of online poker, but you're playing against the 9 other people you are sitting with. Ciaffone calls it "the best of both worlds," as it speeds up the game and eliminates dealer errors.

Ciaffone notes: "One of the benefits of having a dealer is to keep the game moving along. For this reason, it is a good idea for a cardroom that’s using this computerized technology to designate a player in the game as the “table captain,” to keep the game moving and ensure that no improprieties take place, such as making comments during a hand about what someone might be holding."

I cringed as I read this, imagining all the old timer leatherass table captains I've met in every poker room - the last thing we need is these douchebags playing table cop.

I hit up Dirty Dave on IM, and complained to him.

"Ouch - like you need some leatherass playing Vichy cop on you,"
he's always the intellectual.

"dk" I responded - Wall Street talk for "Don't Know" - as in "I have no clue what you're talking about.

"Vichy, France: wartime rule" he explained.

"Hang on Voltaire," I blasted him with one of my favorite movie quotes from one of my favorite movie scenes of all time: let me explain.

In Swingers, Mike and Trent are in a diner, ordering some chow. Let's join the screenplay, courtesy of ScreenplaysForYou:

MIKE I'll have "pancakes in the Age of Enlightenment"
It goes over like a lead balloon.
TRENT I'll have the Blackbeard over easy.
WAITRESS I'll be back with the coffee.
She takes the menus and goes.
TRENT (genuinely) Nice, baby.
MIKE I should've said Renaissance, right? It went over her head.
TRENT Baby, you did fine.
MIKE (disgusted with himself) "Age of Enlightenment". Shit. Like some waitress in a Las Vegas coffee shop is going to get an obscure French philosophical reference. How demeaning. I may as well have just said "Let me jump your ignorant bones."...
TRENT ...Baby...
MIKE ... It's just, I thought "Renaissance" was too Excaliber, it's the wrong casino. She would've gotten it, though...
TRENT You did fine. Don't sweat her. We're meeting our honeys soon. You know Christy's friend is going to be money.
MIKE I hope so. (checks watch) We gotta go soon.
TRENT Baby, relax. It's just down the hall. She's gotta change... we'll be fine.
MIKE We didn't do so bad after all.
TRENT Baby, we're money.Mike tries to catch the attention of their waitress, who is passing with a huge platter containing a BREAKFAST BANQUET.
MIKE Excuse me. We're in a bit of a hurry.
WAITRESS Hang on, Voltaire

Brilliant stuff. Anyway, in another completely random note, I saw Matt Pinfield, former MTV VJ extraordinaire on my corner today.

My knee is healing somewhat I think - I'm able to walk, but still limp slightly. Thanks for all the well-wishers. I even had three different random people on the streets of NYC offer me assistance.

Oscar's balls (or lack thereof) appear to be healing nicely - he gets his stitches out Monday.

Mrs. Dynamite and I took him with us to Philly last weekend for a wedding, and his good behavior when given free reign in the hotel room prompted us to decide to try giving him free reign of our apartment yesterday while we were at work, instead of confining him to the kitchen like we usually do. As Mrs. Dynamite put it to me when I got home, Oscar "violated the circle of trust," by pulling all the mulch out of the big potted plant we have in our dining room, running down the hall with it, and spraying it all over the bedroom. Good effort dude - back in the kitchen...

Previously, while Mrs. Dynamite was in the shower, Oscar did this with the toilet paper:

Elsewhere in my world, last night I went with some colleagues to DelFrisco's Steakhouse. I resisted the urge to comment when the waitress told us about the special: the bone-in ribeye ("Do you like the bone in? guffaw guffaw guffaw), but when I ordered the fillet, medium, she actually said, and I quote, "That's hot and red in the center, and pink toward the outside." Before I could even react, one of my compatriots blurted "JUST the way he likes it." Of course, I then had to tell my "$600 and ounce? sounds like my sperm" story.

I told you all about how Blogger shut me down for a week several months ago, since their proprietary software had decided that I was SPAM. Well, I'm on an email discussion list with some of my poker buddies, and I sent an email to the list, which my own email dumped into my SPAM folder. Ouch. That hurts. My own account think's I'm SPAM. I don't even know what to make of that.

Finally, I'm at war with Citibank: a friend of mine sent me a check, which eventually bounced when I deposited it in my account. Citi debits the check, fine, but then they also hit me with a $10 fee. What the fuck? Huh? I am the bouncee, not the bouncer - there is no fucking way I'm paying a fee, especially since I didn't even withdraw the money. I've told them this much, and threatened to close my account if they don't take the friggin' $10 off - DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM? Yeah, I know, it's only $10, but I'll spend 5 hours fighting in on principle.

until next time,