Jinx

If I'm sitting at the poker table, it is highly unlikely that you'll ever hear me say something like "Wow, it's been a long long time since I've been felted when my kings ran into aces." I am somewhat superstitious, and I simply prefer not to fuck with Karma.

Mrs. Dynamite, on the other hand, has taken to putting the kaibash on Oscar, our puppy. Two weeks ago she remarked "It's been a long time since Oscar peed in the wrong spot - he's doing so well!" As if on cue, that night, Oscar peed in the bed for the first time ever.

Oscar has been doing phenomenally well - learning to walk on his leash, and even taking his first dump outside (I'm such a proud dad!). So, Sunday night, after 2 pretty good weeks of behavior, Mrs. Dynamite again pulls out, "Oscar has been awesome for so long!" Now, Oscar has not taken a dump on my bedroom rug since the week we brought him home, but within 15 minutes of Mrs. Dynamite mentioning this, he begins furiously sniffing in the bedroom.

"NO!" I shout, recognizing the behavior pattern, and he looks up at me momentarily, before resuming his frantic sniffing and pacing. I reach him just as he starts to squat, yelling "NO NO NO NO NO" the whole time, as he looks up at me helplessly, in mid squat. I pick him up, and attempt to carry him over to his "wee wee pad," but he can't hold back one turd from pinching out and crashing to the floor.

Now Oscar is sitting there looking at me like, "what the fuck are you yelling at me for?" as I'm trying to get him to finish his dump in the proper spot. Of course, now he thinks he's not supposed to take a dump, and is holding it in.

I refuse to bring him to bed, as I know he has to poo, and he's in despair gated in the kitchen trying to figure out what I want. After about 90 minutes, he finally drops the rest of his load, and proudly wags his tail when he realizes that's what I was looking for. That's my boy!

Here's the latest on Oscar's likes and dislikes:

Likes: Shoes, Shoelaces, socks, drawstrings, hand trucks, brooms, CharlesParker the Pug
Dislikes: Loud trucks, being barked at, old people, Moose the Bulldog

In other news...

Paul Phillips had a couple of brilliant links on his livejournal, including these inimitable Phil Hellmuth Ringtones.

until next time,
KD

Online Cheating

Thanks to Ranxx for bringing this link to my attention. (full text below, from Pokerkingblog.com)

For all of you who haven’t heard about this, here is what happened:

An account named “ablackcar” ended up taking down the Party Poker 500k guaranteed tournament last week for 140k. That is fine, except for the fact that it came out after the fact, on pocketfives.com, that the “ablackcar” account was being played by JJProdigy, a well-known and very good online tournament player. The real big problem? JJProdigy had played in the same tournament. So, about twenty minutes after the tournament ended, it was revealed that JJProdigy had had two accounts playing in the same tournament (at least two).

When confronted with this information, JJProdigy said that the “ablackcar” account had been played by his grandmother until the closing stages of the tournament. At that time, JJProdigy took over and finished up the tournament. Anyone with half a brain could see that this was a lie. Someone checked up on the “ablackcar” account, and miraculously, “ablackcar” only played in tournaments that JJProdigy was playing in, and only played tournaments with a large buy-in.

The JJProdigy situation was reported to Party Poker, and they took immediate action, freezing the “ablackcar” account. About five days later, Party Poker announces that not only have they banned the “ablackcar” account and confiscated the 140k, but they also banned the JJProdigy account, and confiscated 40k. Everyone who placed in the money in the Party 500k Guaranteed was bumped up a spot, and the 140k was redistributed.

After the fact, JJProdigy came out and posted that he did in fact knowingly cheat. Party Poker forced his hand though, as they said that the two accounts played from the same computer, when he had originally claimed that his grandmother was in the other room, playing until he took over. JJProdigy claims that he will be taking “legal action.” Cough.

First off, for anyone who doesn’t know, this type of behavior is rampant in the online poker world. Numerous high profile online players are entering multiple accounts into poker tournaments. I’ve heard that some players enter as many as 10 different accounts into one tournament. Kind of gives them an unfair advantage don’t you think? Someone who was defending JJProdigy made the analogy that it is just like buying multiple lottery tickets. Well, first off, there are no rules stating that you can’t buy multiple lottery tickets (whereas there is language in every poker sites TOU that are you not allowed to enter multiple accounts into a tournament); secondly, if you have multiple accounts entered into the same tournament, there becomes a very real possibility of chip-dumping if you have multiple accounts playing at the same table. I will argue this till I’m red in the face, but multiple accounts is just not fair and certainly not ethical.

Hats off to Party Poker. They issued a harsh punishment that added significant credibility to their operation. No doubt this practise will continue, but Party Poker sent a great message. “If we catch you cheating, you’re losing everything.” With this decision, Party Poker gained a lot of respect in the online poker world. It’s the only decision they could have made though; if they had let JJProdigy keep the 140k, their tournaments would have become an instant joke. People would have been entering 20 accounts into one tournament. For anyone who doesn’t think this would give someone an unfair advantage; can you imagine 20 Phil Ivey’s playing in the same tournament? Don’t you think there would be a great chance that one of the 20 Phil Ivey’s would end up winning, and even a better chance that two or more of the Phil Ivey’s would end up sometime in the tournament playing at the same table?

To JJProdigy: First off, on what grounds would you sue Party Poker? You clearly broke a rule outlining in their Terms of Use. You have zero support, so lick your wounds and continue. You’re a great player; play within the rules at the other sites, and you’ll have another big score, guaranteed. Oh, and you might want to turn your chat off when you play.

To everyone else out there cheating: Watch out for the Karma police.

UPDATE: Poker Stars has now banned the “JJProdigy” account after doing their own investigation and finding that “JJProdigy” was playing with multiple accounts in some of their tournaments. Word has also leaked that “JJProdigy” is only 16 years old. The poker sites have a MAJOR problem on their hands here. How will the other rooms react? Was he only playing with two accounts or were there more involved?

Talk amongst yourselves...

-KD

Hit List

William Rockwell is mad at me. That's just not right. He left me a couple of angry comments in regard to an old ESPN WSOP recap I wrote, so I went back to see why he was so pissed off.

I made a comment about William Rockwell being an advertising pawn for Golden Palace Casino, as he had their logo plastered on his foot amongst other places, and wondered if he'd ever played poker before. William responded (sic):

This is William Rockwell I am a 14 year vetran of poker I have Played so many tournaments I can not even count them please don't write things you have no clue about contact info for myself is at rockwellfoundation.org P.S. I will play you anytime bud!

So, I admit that I had no clue he was an experienced player, and wish William Rockwell all the best in his poker and other endeavors - I think it's remarkable that he's been able to overcome his physical handicap. I do think it's unfortunate that he chose Golden Palace Casino as his sponsor, as I think someone with his story could have probably been backed by a more "legit" sponsor that would have attracted more attention to his foundation. That said, I'd also be happy to take up his challenge - hopefully Golden Palace Casino will sponsor the heads up deathmatch.

In other news, my puppy, Oscar, is a beast. My mom came to visit this weekend, and while we went to walk around SoHo on Saturday, Mrs. Dynamite gladly took up my challenge to teach Oscar a new trick: "Lie Down." She happily called my cell phone after 25 minutes to gloat that he'd mastered "Lie Down" quickly. "Good," I replied, "now teach him Don't Eat Poo."

On Sunday, Mrs. Dynamite and my mom ran to the store to grab some ingredients for dinner, and challenged me to teach Oscar a trick in 1/2 an hour. We sucked it up, and my boy learned "Shake," like a champ. He even forgot "Lie Down," to boot, so Mrs. Dynamite and I are even now (she masterfully taught him "Sit.")

Here's a picture of Oscar humping H0nus

-KD

Live Poker is so Rigged

This week on High Stakes Poker (on the Game Show Network - if you're not watching it: START!), the players are dealt what has already been advertised as the last hand of the night. Not the last hand of the hour long show, but the last hand before the game breaks for the night. This is a high stakes cash game, with Danny Negreanu, Jen Harman, Eli Elezra, Barry Greenstein, Todd " Sean Sheikhan is an idiot and he'll probably lose all his chips" Brunson, Sean Sheikhan, Sammy Farha and Jerry Buss.

So Greenstein wakes up to AA. Blinds are $300-$600 with a $100 ante, and he raises to $2500. Farha, in the BB, looks down at pocket kings, and re-raises to $12,500. Barry makes it $62,500 to go, and Farha starts to think. He can't believe this is happening: he knows Barry isn't just fucking around - but can he really be running into rockets on the last hand? Now, in a tournament, Barry can make this play with a range of hands. He had $190,000 to start the hand, and barely had Sammy covered. However, one of the most interesting things about this high stakes cash game is how quickly you realize that when big money goes into the pot, people have big hands. Barry has AA, KK, QQ or maybe AK.

Farha thinks for a long time, and finally moves all-in; about $120k or so more for Barry, who calls. First of all, I started thinking: can Sammy just call here? he knows he's either way ahead (vs queens) or way behind (vs. aces) - but maybe he's just in good shape vs AK - in which case a re-raise is mandatory to shut Barry out. I guess he'd rather get the money in now, unless he has every intention of folding to a flopped ace - which, if Barry had QQ would be a disaster, and if Barry had A-K would also be a disaster to let him catch.

Anyway, Barry calls of course, and Sammy knows he's up against aces. Sammy offers to deal 2 five card boards, but Barry declines. The flop comes king high, and Barry, to his credit, never flinches, even though there is over $360,000 in the pot. Now Sammy again offers to deal the turn and river twice, but Barry declines. The turn and river blank off (Barry had a backdoor flush draw on the flop), and Sammy rakes a monster pot.

un-fuckin'-real. Barry Greenstein, true professional, doesn't make a peep. One other interesting thing about Barry: the WSOP and WPT broadcasts lead the viewer to believe that, like Paul "Dotcom" Phillips - Barry is an internet millionaire who plays poker now that he's loaded, and thus can afford to donate all his winnings to charity. Well, Professor, the Banker, and the Suicide King - the story of the super high stakes cash game played in Vegas by a syndicate of pros vs. businessman Andy Beal tells a different story. Barry did NOT get rich at Symantec - and made/makes his money playing poker. He DOES give a ton of money, including most of his tourney winnings to charity - but this is out of the goodness of his heart - not because he's so loaded that he doesn't need the cash.

Kudos to Barry.

-KD

Hostin' Ain't Easy

With most local live games scarce, the attendance for Satuday's Kid Dynamite Home Game was perfect, with a full table of eager combatants anxious to get some action. Unfortunately, I had a wicked bout of food poisoning friday night - the result of an ill-advised Korean Deli meatball parm - and was in horrible shape on Saturday.

When the Vortex arrived first on Saturday afternoon, I could barely make it up and down the stairs. Soxlover and his ringer buddy the Korean ATM followed soon after, and the game got roaring. Vortex put a rapid succession of beats on Soxlover, and quickly had him tilted. It turned out that the Korean ATM was only taking deposits on this day, and ended up crushing the game.

The immortal Boston road gambler Dirty Dave ignored the weather warnings and made the trip down from Boston to play, and took a key pot limit omaha pot off me: the first one we played.

I was in the SB with 6-6-8-5 rainbow, and we saw an 8 way unraised flop: 6-5-K with 2 hearts. I bet out the pot: $16, and only Dirty Dave (UTG) and the Vortex (cutoff) called.

The turn was an offsuit 4, and I fired $60. Dirty Dave thought for a solid 90 seconds before raising all-in. Vortex folded and it was back to me. Now I know Dirty Dave is weak tight. He knows I know this. What confuses me is, why would Dirty Dave be drawing to a straight on a two-flush board - that's not like him. Of course, it's Omaha, so maybe he has the straight WITH the flush draw. Essentially, at best (for me) he has a flush draw and I'm a nice favorite, while at worst he has a made straight and I'm a nice dog. I'm hoping I at least have full house outs, and am not up against a set of kings. I think for 3 solid minutes, and eventually muck my hand faceup. Dave shows me A-A-7-7 double suited, with the nut heart draw. Uggh.. he was in even worse shape than he thought, as a seven was no good for him: it would make me a straight. It turns out he had fold equity though! In retrospect, I shouldn't bet the turn unless I'm calling his raise - I should check-call the turn (or even check-raise). Fortunately, Dirty Dave left before doing any lasting damage to my bathroom. Had I known he was going to hit and run, I probably would have called.

Andrew made quads twice in one orbit of Omaha, once against SoxLover's higher set, spiking a one-outer against him on the river, and once against my nut flush when he rivered quad aces and check-raised me. I paid him off. Fuck!

My night ended in fine fashion when, playing 1-2 NL hold'em, I raised to $7 UTG with QhJh. Soxlover called, and Andrew raised to $20. Fred, who'd been down to the felt for a while, moved all-in for his last $28, and Korean ATM in the BB smooth called the $28! Now, for some reason I decided to move all-in here: $149 more than Fred's $28. Everyone folded to the Korean ATM, who called me quickly. Huh? what's going on here? Fred turned over Kings, Korean ATM had A-Q offsuit, and I was drawing slim. Two aces and two hearts on the flop gave me hope, but I couldn't spike my flush and was liquidated. The question is: what am I trying to accomplish? What's the point of my forcing the other players to fold? I have a hand that is likely to be second best at the time, and I still have to beat Fred, the all-in player. I guess I was thinking that the added dead money in the pot would adequately compensate me for the small disadvantage I expected to be at against Fred: I didn't give him credit for a real hand. When Korean ATM called me, I knew I was in trouble (I guess he hasn't been stacked enough with A-Q in that situation to know that he's in a tough spot most of the time).

Until next time,

-KD

Stupor Bowl

Congrats to the Pittsburgh Steelers who put together an incredible late season and postseason run to become the Super Bowl XL Champions. Previously, the only team to win three games on the road to make it to the Super Bowl was the Steve Grogan led 1986 Patriots, who were promptly thrashed by the William "Refrigerator" Perry Chicago Bears in the Super Bowl.

The Steelers, on the other hand, won out the regular season, then beat 4 of the top 5 teams in the NFL (the other being the defending World Champion New England Patriots) away from their home confines of Heinz field to bring home the bacon. Don't look now, but Big Ben "Drink Like a Champion Today" Roethlisberger's stats are Brady-esque.

Highlight of the Super Bowl pregame: Bill Bellicheck simply explaining the Patriots "David vs. Goliath" game plan when they beat the Rams 5 years back: contain Marshall Faulk as follows: If Faulk lined up behind QB Kurt Warner, the Pats played run defense. If Faulk lined up anywhere else, they played pass defense. That's it. Ram's coach Mike Martz must have been watching this somewhere, and thrown up as Brilliant Bill diagrammed the simple recipe for Ram dismantlement.

In honor of the solid effort put forward by the BC Eagle's alum Matt Hassleback and the Seattle Seahawks, the number one 'Hawks fan Tubbo da King gets this shout out with a vintage photo of his dominance in the shotput back at M.I.T circa 1998.

In other news, Oscar my puppy seems to have learned "SIT" under the expert tutelage of Mrs. Dynamite. Now if we can only teach him "Don't eat poo" we'll be well on our way to happiness. I'd also like to give a shout out to Leeroux for hosting the Super Bowl party, and for making a 5-gallon Gatorade pitcher full of premium Patron margaritas. Oy. I felt that this morning.

-KD

Aiyahh!

It's Friday evening, and I'm calling the new club to find out what time the tourney starts. There's no answer. I check my email and find news from SoxLover that they've been raided already! I call the Vortex, and he wonders if the owner of a rival club would be scummy enough to call the cops to protect his own business. I doubt it, but Vortex says that's what he would do. Geez Vortex - I didn't know you were such a scummer. The only good news is that I didn't leave Oscar alone to eat his own poo as I walked to the club to find out it had been raided and then come back to find my little monster staring at me with guilty poo-eating eyes.

You must check out this brilliant post from Bobby Bracelet live blogging his evening waiting for some chick to (not) call him. Read the background post too, but the live blogging post is one of the best ever. Bobby even implements the Kid Dynamite specialty Horse Handicapping by Name Only, but unfortunately cannot hammer any winners.

later,
KD

Big Ben

This came to my attention today, courtesy of Dirty Dave. Talk about big game prep.

But seriously: was Big Ben Roethlisberger really wearing the "Drink Like a Champion Today" shirt? Really? Wow. Just: Wow. This cannot be from this week...

-KD