Monday, February 27, 2006


If I'm sitting at the poker table, it is highly unlikely that you'll ever hear me say something like "Wow, it's been a long long time since I've been felted when my kings ran into aces." I am somewhat superstitious, and I simply prefer not to fuck with Karma.

Mrs. Dynamite, on the other hand, has taken to putting the kaibash on Oscar, our puppy. Two weeks ago she remarked "It's been a long time since Oscar peed in the wrong spot - he's doing so well!" As if on cue, that night, Oscar peed in the bed for the first time ever.

Oscar has been doing phenomenally well - learning to walk on his leash, and even taking his first dump outside (I'm such a proud dad!). So, Sunday night, after 2 pretty good weeks of behavior, Mrs. Dynamite again pulls out, "Oscar has been awesome for so long!" Now, Oscar has not taken a dump on my bedroom rug since the week we brought him home, but within 15 minutes of Mrs. Dynamite mentioning this, he begins furiously sniffing in the bedroom.

"NO!" I shout, recognizing the behavior pattern, and he looks up at me momentarily, before resuming his frantic sniffing and pacing. I reach him just as he starts to squat, yelling "NO NO NO NO NO" the whole time, as he looks up at me helplessly, in mid squat. I pick him up, and attempt to carry him over to his "wee wee pad," but he can't hold back one turd from pinching out and crashing to the floor.

Now Oscar is sitting there looking at me like, "what the fuck are you yelling at me for?" as I'm trying to get him to finish his dump in the proper spot. Of course, now he thinks he's not supposed to take a dump, and is holding it in.

I refuse to bring him to bed, as I know he has to poo, and he's in despair gated in the kitchen trying to figure out what I want. After about 90 minutes, he finally drops the rest of his load, and proudly wags his tail when he realizes that's what I was looking for. That's my boy!

Here's the latest on Oscar's likes and dislikes:

Likes: Shoes, Shoelaces, socks, drawstrings, hand trucks, brooms, CharlesParker the Pug
Dislikes: Loud trucks, being barked at, old people, Moose the Bulldog

In other news...

Paul Phillips had a couple of brilliant links on his livejournal, including these inimitable Phil Hellmuth Ringtones.

until next time,

1 comment:

Blonde said...

I love your dog!

Seriously, your dog may have some behavioral issues triggering the pooping/peeing incidents. My Great Dane was the same exact way and shortly thereafter we discovered his separation anxiety.