Sunday, July 31, 2005

Foxwoods sucks!

You know that song they whistle in Madison Square Garden at Rangers games? doo dooo doo doo do, doo dooo doo doo do, doo doo doo dooo doo, do de do .. "POTVIN SUCKS!"
well, if I had the coding talent to include a .wav file of that here with "FOXWOODS SUCKS" as the lyrics, you can bet I would.

So, I haven't been to Foxwoods in several years, and boy, was I in for some surprises...

Dirty Dave had called ahead and gotten me the lowdown on the NL games:
1-2 NL $100 MAX buy in?!?!?!
2-4 NL $300/min/Max buy-in
and 5-5 NL $500 Min buy-in, no cap.

ok, $100 max is clearly a waste of time, I'm ready for the big time: the 5-5 game.

I leave work early on Friday, and arrive at the 'Woods by 3:30. They have a "new" (to me) projection board with all the lists computerized, which is nice.

I put my name on all three lists, and get seated quickly in the 1-2 NL game. I figure I'll kill some time until the other seats open.

TILT sets in quickly:

time charge: $5 per 1/2 hour! Wow... Now, funny how I don't flinch when I pay this fee at my game in the City, but at least there the dealers are fast, knowledgeable, and friendly, and more importantly, you don't have a $100 stack !

think about this: there is $1000 on the table, and they are raking off $100 each hour! Try to beat that f'n game! $100 max? but in fact, in this game, with a little patience, it's probably still the easiest game they spread: several players still open for $15, and even more surprisingly, other will cold call $15, even after 2 other cold callers!!!!! I mean, you only have $100!!! have I mentioned this? also, players get committed with one pair very easily. take a big hand, bet it, and get paid.

to add insult to this brutal juice, the dealers are moronic, as are some floor people, as is evidenced when one player, in a pot I'm not involved in, announces "Raise" - then puts out the amount of the initial bet, goes back to his stack for chips, puts them in the pot, and goes back to his stack for another pile of chips.

stickler that I am, I naturally flinch at this, which causes the player in question to look at me and say "what's wrong"? I say "I'm not in the hand, I'll tell you after".. and after the hand, I proceed to explain thathe cannot do that. the dealer says "if he announces raise, he can go back to his stack multiple times." I actually argue with the dealer for several seconds, before giving up and going off a few minutes later to confirm with a floor person that I do indeed understand the rule correctly: I mean, foxwoods has some really stupid rules, so maybe I'm wrong: (dumbest rule of all: if I'm playing 2-4 NL: $300min/max buy in, and I have $800 in my stack, if I move to another 2-4nl table, I have to take my chips down to $300!! huh? what? why the fuck is that true? I could not get a valid explanation - only that if it's not a must move or a broken game - if you transfer by choice, you have to reduce your stack. COMPLETELY

so anyway, I hunt down a floor DOUCHEBAG, who says

"yes - if you say raise, you can go back to your stack multiple times"
"No way." I say. "There is NO WAY that's correct."

so this floor douchebag goes to call another floor douchebag, who indeed confirms that Kid Dynamite knows what the fuck he's talking about - and that you cannot go back to your stack multiple times unless you announce the $$$ amount of the raise.. thank you.. I am worried I'm losing my mind. Gotta make sure you know the house rules..

I decide to put on my headphones and listen to some music to calm down.

"Sir - no electronic devices at the table" the dealer tells me.

"it's not an electronic device - it's just an Ipod." I laugh - I think he's busting my balls.

"seriously sir: no electronic devices. you have to turn if off." It was like the scene in Rounders, where Worm borrows Mikey Mc D's chips out of his stack, and the dealers says "Sir, you can't take chips from another player." and Worm says "you know, we all kinda know each other, so if no one else minds..." but the dealer fires back "Sir, you have to buy them from me." I don't know how it was like that scene at all actually, but I digress.

I am BEWILDERED. I mean, the eggregious rake (I haven't even gotten to how it's $7 per 1/2 hr in the 5-5 game, and $6 per 1/2 hr. in the 2-4 game) the NAZI dictatorship rules, and the ignorance of the staff is REALLY leaving a bad taste in my mouth... Not to mention that I didn't listen to my IPOD on the 4 fucking hour busride up here, because I wanted to save the batteries for the poker table!!! AIIYYYAHHH!! TILT! I guess when the players are paying $120 an hour for a 2-4 NL table, I think they should be able to do, in the words of Teddy KGB:(cue thick Russian accent:) WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY LIKE. I guess Teddy KGB may have actually said : "In my club, I will splash the pot whenever the fuck I please", but I digress again.

Wise-ass that I am, I of course launch into a string of sarcastic questions:
"Am I allowed to wear my hat backwards?"
"Can I put it on rally-cap style - inside out?"
"Can I wear sunglesse upside down?"
"Can I put my hood up?"

at this point, a local says "no hoods" and I laugh at him... you MUST Be kidding.. I actually get up and go to confirm with a floorman again - I want to know if I'm allowed to wear my hood, should I so desire.

the floorman replies: "only if you wear dark sunglasses too, like the UNabomber" and I laugh it off - of course there isn't a no hood rule...

BUT WAIT! there FUCKING IS a no hood rule! a guy at my table puts his hood up several hours later, 'cause it's freezing in the room, and the floor comes over and tells him he has to take it off! because they're worried about not being able to see if he has headphones on or something!!!!

has there been a big wave of players communicating with each other over secret-service-like earpieces? why the fuck does Foxwoods have to have all of these rules that really alienate the players, and the kick you in the balls with the $12/hr rake? insult to injury... HEY - MOHEGAN SUN: GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND RE-OPEN YOUR FUCKING POKER ROOM!

so anyway, it all left a very bad taste in my mouth: on to a quick poker recap.

I sit briefly in the 1-2NL game, and quickly triple up, when I liquidate two different opponents in two different hands: on the first, I have A-8 of clubs, and check-raise all in on the turn when a second club comes on the Ace high board. I get called, and my 8 kicker ends up playing over his A-2.

then, I limp with 7-9, flop an open-ender, turn the nuts, and liquidate another douchebag.

I'm quickly called for the 5-5NL game, and I sit down in the 3 seat. a local pro in the one seat says "I'm actually gonna take that seat"

the 2 and 4 seats are both empty. I say "you can have either of these. I'm here now"

he says "you haven't played a hand yet. it doesn't matter where you are."

this guy knows his shit, and I'm not going to get into it with him, his $4k in chips, and his $5k in bundled $100's. I cede him the 3 seat, and slide to the deuce.

I add another $200 to my short $500 stack, and look around. this table is no joke. a bunch of local pros. young guns - tight and agressive, but they will not let you get out of line at all. brutal. I put my name on the list for a transfer to the other 5-5 table, but when the resident pro declines the transfer before I have my chance at it, I realize that the other game is no better.

stacks range from 1500 to $9k, and I'm short, and at the wrong table.

I hold my own of course: I CR a pair+flush draw on the turn to take down a pot, then limp-call in EP with 7-7 and flop a set. I bet 1/2 the pot and get no action.

I find KK in EP, and make it $20, I get 2 callers.

flop: A-9-9, two diamonds. check check check turn: 8 of dimonds. I check-fold to a pot-sized bet.
they call me for the 2-4 table, and I move. Although I wanted to play the bigger game, the issue of the importance of game selection was POUNDING through my head, and to be honest, I was clearly the fish at this 5-5 table. Although I'm perfectly capable of playing in this game, I do not need to do it when it's stocked with a bunch of tough everyday pros, and no fish.

2-4NL: $300 buyin

I will save you the gory details of the 17 hours I played, and give you this rundown:

I quickly got destacked when I played A-8 again from the blind, betting out (the pot) an A-5-3 two flush flop. I get min-raised by the cutoff and after thinking, I call.

turn: Ace. I push in for $200 more. roughly the pot. he thinks for 30 seconds before calling with 3-3. I inquire "what didn't you like?" and two players near me go into how it wasn't such an easy call with the baby-full house. which is why I'm telling this story in the first place: these guys continue to talk about how they'd have to think hard about calling with 3-3

ok.. mental note: I'm about to own you... if you're weak enough to lay down 3's full there, you might as well just give me your money now.

I enforce this the next orbit, when I raise to $20 in EP with A-Q, and get called by the tight ass old guy to my immediate left. heads up:


I bet $25. he calls

turn: 3. I bet $75. he calls.

river: 6. I bet $200. he thinks and thinks and thinks, and says "that card killed my hand" and mucks 5-5.

"excellent laydown" I tell him, in a not-quite-so-sarcastic-as-Jean-Robert-Bellande manner.

I begin to dominate the table, controlling it, making some excellent reads, earning pots that aren't mine, and staying out of trouble by not bluffing at the wrong time.

three hands to talk about: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

first: The Good.

6 way unraised pot, I am in the BB with QJ.

flop: J-9-5.

Sb bets $10. I raise to $30. the mad-russian, this bald dude who barely speaks English, and who I do not yet know, calls. folded back to the SB, who calls.

turn: 4

SB checks. I bet $75. Mad Russian smooth calls. SB folds.

river: 2. Now, I put the mad russian on a busted straight draw. how do I do this? I don't know.. I feel like either he has a busted straight draw or a weaker jack. so I'll check, let him bet/bluff, and call.

I check.

he says "All in." and pushes $228 forward. it's close to a potsized bet.

holy fuck. I'm shocked. this is the first bet like this we've seen from this guy, and it makes no sense to me.. why is he pounding this so hard if he's got a legit hand? no.. he can't.. I HAVE to be good.. but i'd hate to go broke in an unraised pot - cardinal FUCKING rule...I wanted to induce a bluff - but not such a big bluff!

the clincher: he's two seats to my left (I'm the 8, he's the ten) - and he's STARING at me the whole time.. never blinking - just glaring at me. Caro 101 baby.. strong is weak. I call with confidence.. he tables 9-T, and I'm OWNING this table.

over the next several hours, I go from +1000 to $+600, as I go completely card dead, and suddenly, every time I try to pick up a pot I meet resistence. I have flashes of some really good poker, but still show some impatience at other times, playing hands I shouldn't, and not maximizing every play.

I'm very frustrated, it's 1:30 am, and i've racked up my chips to leave. I"m UTG with 2-2, and this will be my last hand of the night: THE UGLY

The Ugly:
I limp UTG with 2-2. 5 way action.

flop : Q-Q-5.

checked to the Mad Russian on the cutoff, who bets $15. I reason that he may have a queen, and if he does, I'm going to peel off one card here for $15, and try to liquidate him.

I call. one other caller.

turn: D-E-U-C-E.

wow.. what a way to end the night. perfect.

I bet out $50. other player gets out of the way, and the mad russian says "$100 more"

he has some $100 bills on the table, and I say "how much more do you have?" $300 is the answer.

hmm.. am I getting away from this hand? no. this is what I wanted. I push him all in. he calls.

I show the savvy young gun next to me my dukers full, and whisper under my breath "think I'm good?" "absolutely. hope he doesn't hit the river though."

river: Ten.

I look at the mad Russian, and say "How 'you feeling?"

he glares back. I flip my 2-2 to the middle of the table.

he says something like "very good"

and slow rolls a queen... and then he spreads the second card.... FIIIIIIIVVVVVE.

oh fuck.

what a way to ruin your day and go to bed angry... how do I describe this hand? unlucky? I guess that's it... I got what I deserved for taking a card off on the flop... Eric points out that I am roughly 15-1 to hit my deuce, so I'll have to bust him most of the time I do hit it to make this play valid. and that even if I hit my 2, he still has automatic outs (pairing the other board card, or his kicker) I still think peeling a card off is not the error in this hand.. maybe there isn't one...

anyway: onto the final hand: THE BAD.

next day, early in the session. this session started off by my gently demanding/requesting that the dealer NOT collect the time charge, since it's a new game, 6 handed, and we started sitting down right when the time charge was supposed to be happening. he collects, but calls the floor over to hear my request, and the floor relents to our unionized pressure and gentle friendly ribbing! boo yah! FREEEROLLL! it's a moral victory - one for the common people. fuck the
Foxwoods oppresionist rulers!

I'm up to $450 in chips, and raise to $15 in MP with JT of spades.

I get 1 caller. the SB. this is an old guy who has Miami Beach written all over him: hawaiin shirt, gold chains, gray hair, gray chest hair.

flop: 6-3-2, two spades.. not bad. he checks.. I bet $30. he calls.

turn: offsuit jack. he checks. I bet $60. he calls.

hmmm.. what's up here... do I want to hit my flush card?

turn: Q of spades.

he checks again..

what's my play here? this is the most interesting hand I played during the session.

$350 left or so.


(formulate your thoughts!)


(before you see the results!)


so it's on me. I have the J high flush (Q is on the board)...

I think. but not long enough... I bet $125. he quickly moves all in.

fuck. One thing I did think about was that if I bet this river, I was going to carry it through - as i'd already seen this guy blow someone else off a hand with 8-8-8-x-x on the board, when I had already mucked the last 8....

in other words, if I was betting the river, I was committed to playing for my stack.

I think 15 seconds and call.

he tables the nuts: A-6 of spades.

fuck.. Wow... did I just make a terrible play? of course the results say I did, but never mind the results: what am I value betting here: how am I getting called: Q-J? a flopped baby straight? A-J with the Ace of spades? jeez.

i've given this hand a LOT of thought, and I can't come to any conclusion other than that the bet on the river is a mistake. one of my biggest leaks, as many of you know, has been my failure to value bet on the river.. so i've been trying to remedy this.. but I don't know if this is the right situation... I think not.

but unfortunately, it may not be the only mistake. One I bet and get CR'd - a sizable raise that COULD be a bluff from a relatively unknown player (although I DO know that i've seen him make a similar bluff already) - can I save my last $250 or so and muck this?

so, I think this hand is the one MAJOR and expensive mistake of my trip, and still haunts me.

I later got stacked again when I lost an all-in coinflip AK vs JJ ($700 pot preflop), but fought back to finish the session down $300, with some agressive raises on draws and made hands.

in both of my sessions, I was a dominant force at the table, opening a lot of hands preflop, and following through with tempered agression postflop. I was continually trying to set up the situation of my opponents taking shots at me when I made BIG hands.. but I found very few big hands to take advantage of this image i'd tried to cultivate. I was careful not to fuck around with slowplays, as several have accused me of doing with my big hands lately, preferring instead to pound pound pound at pots...situations just didn't line up for me.

overall, Foxwood's rake structure, Stalinist Rules, and incompetance puts a bad taste in a player's mouth that's hard to overcome, especially when combined with cold cards. This 17 hours over two days, I never saw AA, but I definitely set a personal record for hands looked at where the FIRST card I saw was an Ace or a King, but the hand was unplayable.. I call them "Half-a-Hands"... I mean, literally, 150 times I looked down at Ace.,.... and squeeeeezed... 4... King of hearts and.... squeeeeze....... 6..... ugggh.. purgatory..

until next time,

Kid Dynamite


Anonymous said...

Cryin about time. get a freeroll, and still complain about ''the woods''.I think your better off staying where u are.In front of a keyword, talkng about how great you are.

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Anonymous said...

Googled your story about how much Foxwoods sucks. I use to play there for a living. Now I just hit Vegas 4X a year. Horrible dealers, Horrible pits, and some friggen rules that I never heard of before. Once I got stuck fucked when I smoothed called this guy, announced call, grab a fist full of chips and counted out (like the dealers) and left my chips in my hand and pulled them back. The only thing I did wrong is that they were IN FRONT of my cards, not behind me. This guy had the nut straight and I had two pair.

He calls the floor and stated this rule I have never heard before and stated that my chips are in play because they were in front of my cards, therefor it was a raised. No one fuckin moron, including the dealer that didn't even speak english, heard my say call, lost an additional $250 with the turn and river already dealt. Fuck you Foxwoods and your five dollar every half hour. This call by the floor would never stay in Vegas.

rakeback said...

I totally agree with you. I never even received my poker bonus