Monday, December 07, 2009

Heard It Through The Grape Vine - Exclusive! (Possibly NSFW)

WARNING: If you're looking for a thought provoking post on finance, you might want to come back another day - this post may be unsuitable for workplace reading.

still here?  ok...

While I was in NYC to see Phish, I got my haircut for the first time in almost 6 weeks.  The New Hampshire woodsman look was perfect for blending in with the Phish crowd, but my beard was starting to look like curly pubes, and I had an unruly mop on the top of my head.  I made an appointment to see my trusty old Italian barber, who I'll call Dino to protect his anonymity.

After exchanging pleasantries, Dino immediately got into a rant on Tiger Woods, and more importantly, one of Tiger's alleged concubines, Rachel Uchitel.  Dino's inimitable Italian accent made the story world class:

"Heya man - let me-ah tell-ah you something my friend.  Dis guy I know - his-ah friend, he-ah meet dis girl in the Hamptons this summer.  He-ah at-ah a party, and he-ah meet her on a Monday night.  He-ah call me on-ah Tuesday morning and he-ah say "Dino - that-ah girl, I-ah banged her in the ass-ah last night-ah"

Boom. Great stuff. If it comes from an Italian barber in NYC, we all know that's about as reliable a source that exists in the world of information.  So there you have it.  Rachel Uchitel gives up the butt on the first night.



The Bracelet said...

I need to find a better barber. The fat chick at supercuts never has anything good to say. Not to mention the heavy breathing from having to stand and move her arms for a solid 10 minutes...

Jeff said...

You're Hilarious!

Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Great, another thing this chick and Waffles have in common.