Wednesday, December 01, 2010

RIP Kardashian Kard. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY????

I know most of my readers aren't cool enough to have a Kardashian card - I found out from the article above that I'm in an elite group of only 250 fucktards - sorry - "customers" - who bought the card.  Yes - BOUGHT the card.  The fees work like this:

"A 12-month Kardashian Kard cost $99.95 just to own, including a card purchase fee of $9.95 and 12 monthly fees of $7.95. After the first year, consumers would have to continue to pay the $7.95 monthly fee.

On top of these initial fees, it cost Kardashian Kard users $1 every time they added money to their card, and it cost $1.50 to speak with a live operator. If they wanted to pay their bills automatically using the card, they were charged $2 per transaction."

For some reason, that meddlesome Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal feels like he needs to interfere with my glorious personal finances, saying: 

""Among the prepaid debit cards now on the market, the Kardashian Kard is particularly troubling because of its high fees combined with its appeal to financially unsophisticated young adult Kardashian fans," he wrote. "Keeping up with the Kardashians is impossible using these cards.""

Suck it Blumenthal!  I was keeping up with Kim, Khloe and whatever the other one's name is (oh yeah, Kourtney'h or something - the "apostrophe h" is silent) every day, staring at their glorious, glamorous card.  Don't be a hater just cuz you ain't Kool 'nuff to roll with the K-Krew.

"Pernicious and predatory fees"  Blumenthal?  Really?  You have to spend money to be with the "In" crowd.  You wouldn't know Kool if it peed on your rug.  The Kardashian Kard made me Kool (I'm sure the Sisters would have trademarked "Kool" if the cigarette brand hadn't beaten them to it by 30+ years). 

I do need to step back for a minute and pick out one delicious quote from the article, which I would have laid 5-1 odds was from The Onion if you gave it to me in a blind taste test:
""The Kardashians have worked extremely long and hard to create a positive public persona that appeals to everyone, particularly young adults," the family's attorney wrote in the letter. "They have been successful in doing so because they are recognized as honest, ethical, and fun-loving individuals who are kind and caring to others.""

Dear Kardashian Family - let's be serious here - that's what you're going with?  Honest, ethical, fun-loving individuals?  As The Soup's Joel McHale used to always describe Kim Kardashian, "She's famous for having a big ass and a sex tape."  Fun loving indeed, at least.  A true role model for young adults.

Fortunately, I'll still be able to do my holiday shopping on using my Kendra Kard.


disclaimers:  1) This was satire - I didn't have a Kardashian Kard, but only because I didn't know about it.  2) As far as I know, there's no such thing as a Kendra Kard - but there should be, and probably will be before long.


John said...

Just use your Russell Simmons card. "You can choose from either of two elite diamond inspired designs." Sounds pretty kool to me

Taylor said...

More tales of Amazon is awesome: A portion of my Kindle's screen froze up, so I sent an email to customer service. Within about 15 minutes I got an email (from a real person) with a number to call. I called the number and the guy said we're going to send you out a brand new one, free of charge, just send us back the old one (he then sent me an email with a prepaid UPS return to use), it will be at your address tomorrow. This was at roughly 6 pm, and when I got home the next day, there was a brand new kindle waiting for me. By far the best customer service I've gotten from any company of any size in quite some time.

Disclosure: sold AMZN way too early

Kid Dynamite said...

Taylor - how old was the Kindle you had a problem with?

Onlooker said...

Wow, there really is a sucker born every minute, eh? For God's sake, if you want to carry around pictures of these wonderful ladies, just do so. You can obviously get much better pictures for next to nothing. Laminated and everything. LOL


Taylor said...

KD, it was around nine months old. Still under the original one year factory warranty, but even so, I've never had a return or problem handled so smoothly or efficiently.

Noopur said...

You think Scott would want one in his stocking?

Anonymous said...

I was in 7-11 the other day and watched incredulously as a young woman loaded up 3 $50 prepaid Mastercards with a $7.95 "set-up" fee. The girl asked several times if the cards would be ready to go as she needed to pay bills. I felt like asking her why she didn't just get one card but really didn't want to get involved.

I think these things are designed specifically prey on the uninformed and young. As well as the portion of society that can't (or won't) get a bank account.