Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Home Again

Mrs. Dynamite and I went to Boston for the weekend, and I stuck around for a few extra days, spending the holidays with my family. A brief recap:

We listened to Friday's Sox-Yanks game in the car as we drove up to Boston. Even on the radio it was intense. Good thing too, as the big weekend showdown lost some meaning when Cleveland laid down for Chicago, so both the Red Sox and Yankees made the playoffs. I could babble about how the MLB rules for determining division champions and such is completely ridiculous, and, in fact, I think I will: Yankee fans should be just as upset - Had Cleveland managed to win a few games, the Yankees would NOT have won the AL East. Huh? Why? Cleveland is not in the AL East. Therefore, their results should have nothing to do with who the AL East Champ is. However, MLB rules are as follows: if there are two teams (ie, Sox, Yanks) who are tied for the best record in the division, the head-to-head tiebreaker procedure will only be implemented IF all of the playoff teams have already been definitively determined.

For the girls out there, this means that since the Sox and Yanks both had better records than Cleveland, they are both in the playoffs, and the Yankees get the division title because they bested Boston 9-8 in the season series. Fine - perfectly reasonable. However, if Cleveland had also been tied, then the Yankees do NOT win the East - they have to play a one game playoff with the Sox, and the loser has to play Cleveland for the Wildcard. Anyway, it's a stupid rule, and a moot point.

On Saturday, Big Poppa Dynamite and Stepmom Dynamite accompanied us to the Topsfield Fair - America's longest continually running fair. We got to see a 1400 lb. pumpkin and a donkey with a big hammer. We also caught a great demonstration from the Essex County K-9 unit. Their dogs all speak foreign languages (Russian, Slovakian, German), depending on what country they came from, and I eventually figured out that it was because the dogs would never be able to understand the Cops' thick Boston accents - and I'm FROM Boston. "These dawgs ahh trained to search evahray compahhtment of yoaaahhh caaaahhh for nahhhcahhhhtics." I was unable to beat the midway games, but did put a whopping on the Bloomin' Onion booth. Mmmm.. Fried......

Sunday we ventured to Honeypot Hills. No - it's not a Cathouse in the mountainous Vegas suburbs - it's an apple orchard in suburban Boston. The place was absolutely mobbed with eager Johnny Appleseeds clamoring to pay $18 to harvest a bag of fresh New England apples. We landed a nice crop of Empires, which I will have to peel for Mrs. Dynamite's signature Apple Pie, Apple Crisp, and Apple Turnovers (which she so generously served at my homegame last year).

I then taught Big Poppa Dynamite the fine art of improvisational cooking, whipping up a batch of chili which simmered while we watched the Patriots game on TV. We had considered trying to go to this game in person, but as the Pats crumbled in the second half, I turned to my dad and admitted, "Man - it really would have sucked if we'd shelled out $1000 for tickets to this game and had to watch this debacle." He nodded appreciatively. Uggh. I did manage to go a perfect 3-0 with my NFL wagers this weekend, good for positive 6 units, and putting me ahead for the season.
I"ll be back later with a rant about FUCKING AMTRAK, which, in typical fuckwad style, put a wrench in my return trip.

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